Seitan Char Siu

Last night, I wondered what I should do with the last of my leftover seitan. I could always just use it as slices in stir fry, noodle soups and such. Even simpler would be to just smother it in barbeque sauce and serve it between two slices of bread. Then I started thinking that if this is supposed to be a meat substitute, why not try using it like meat. Why not roast it like Chinese roast pork? In particular, why not try making char siu out of it? So I looked up how to make char siu and substituted the pork with seitan.

I am considering my first attempt to be a failure. Although the marinade tasted okay, the seitan texture and taste just didn't seem right. I used the leftover seitan from Mark Bittman's cookbook, How to Cook Everything Vegetarian and a basic char siu marinade. The resulting marinade is more brown than red, which is because I didn't add any red food coloring.

I have never made char siu before, even with pork. My mom always used to just buy it and that was that. Of course, I've had it enough times to know what it's supposed to taste like. It is one of the foods that I loved as a child and still enjoy in moderation as an adult. 

After the initial disappointment with the result, I looked online for "seitan char siu." Silly of me not to think of looking it up before I decided to make this attempt, but oh well. It didn't take me long to find this:
http://community.livejournal.com/vegancooking/2694496.html

The I've never thought to add peanut butter or tahini to the seitan recipe. I am very curious to try it as I'm sure the peanut butter will have an effect on the flavor and texture of the seitan. If it will make the seitan more tender, I'm all for it!

In the end, despite my disappointment in the result, I am willing to try it again with a different recipe. There is actually hope that this might work. If so, then I might try "red cooking" the seitan. One my mom's specialties was "red cooking" cubes of meat. My hubby was treated to some when we visited one day and I know that he liked them very much. I always thought it was a shame not to be able to cook the dishes my mom cooked because I was cutting out meat. Now, I feel like there is hope that I may not have to give up making some of my favorite childhood dishes after all!

Sorry if this post rambles a little. I'm writing this late at night on almost no caffeine. The last thing I want to say now is that my hubby seems to have eaten much of the seitan char siu while I wasn't looking. Perhaps it's not as much a failure as I thought it was? Lol!

Abeego

I saw this product reviewed by a bunch of eco-conscious sites and was excited enough that I wanted to try them out myself. They're meant to replace stuff like plastic wrap. It's hemp/cotton fabric infused with beeswax and plant extracts. It's reusable and molds easily to any bowl or container, becoming a perfectly fitted cover. It can be folded up to store cheese, vegetables and fruits and is relatively water resistant.

The beeswax makes it a rather stiff fabric, but it turns malleable as the beeswax warms up in your hands. Because it's the wax that makes it stick to the bowl, keep its shape after it's shaped and makes it water resistant, you can't apply heat to it. So you can only wash it with cold water and soap, you can't use it in the microwave and you shouldn't use it for hot foods. It is, however, really good for covering bowls of leftovers and unused portions of minced veggies or half finished glasses of juices.

In my experience, they do leave wax residue on any dishes you use them on, but it is easily washed off with some hot water and a sponge. Also, with usage, the fabric gets more and more creased because of the beeswax. That doesn't interfere with its usage but just thought I'd point that out.

As for hubby, he says that we pretty much never use tin foil for food storage anymore because of this. I think we actually do use less plastic wrap, but that could also be because of the recent acquisitions of covered containers. Still, I guess it was worth it if it means us producing less garbage.

Spiced tea

When the weather gets cold, we think of comfort foods and things that warm us. There are some foods that are traditionally only eaten in the winter like tong yuan or hot pot. Being Chinese-American, I also think of things like hot chocolate, chai, mulled wine, shepherds pie and veggie pot pies.

Today, I was craving something spiced and drinkable. I don't have any cardamom to make chai, nor did I want something as heavy as hot chocolate and it's too early for wine. So I made tea with ground ginger, ground cinnamon and a drop of good vanilla extract. I also added just enough sugar to sweeten it a little.

The result was delicious. The vanilla gave it a lovely flavor, the cinnamon and ginger made it cozy and warming and the sugar made it decadent and comforting. Yum!

Seitan piccata

One of my favorite dishes at Candle 79 is seitan piccata. It just so happens, you can get the recipe online!
http://www.vegetariantimes.com/recipes/10634

So tonight, I decided we would try to eat seitan with piccata sauce on it. I used a basic seitan recipe from Mark Bittman's cookbook, How to Cook Everything Vegetarian. I added 3 tablespoons of nutritional yeast and an extra sprinkling of salt. I followed everything else exactly. Looking back, I could have done without the extra salt. I don't know what I was thinking when I did it. Anyways, the seitan came out a bit on the salty side, though you could taste it being too salty once you eat it with the piccata sauce. As far as seitan-making adventures, this came out the most tender and the least chewy in texture, though still on the chewy side. Maybe next time, I'll simmer it for an extra 15 to 20 minutes.

As for the piccata sauce, I didn't have all the ingredients on hand so I made do without the capers. I also substituted yellow onion for the shallots, used concentrated lemon juice and dried parsley. I also didn't bother measuring much and just tasted it as I went along. Still, it came out good enough that my hubby complimented me on it so in the end, it's all good!

Anyways, it turned out pretty tasty overall. We had some potato medallions on the side, which was also eaten with the sauce. Going forward, I'll have to keep finding ways to improve the texture of my seitan.

Homemade lipstick

I suppose you can make any homemade lip balm into a lipstick using enough colorant. I tried that once and although the result was a tube of very deeply colored lipstick, it went on my lips more like a sheer lip balm. So today, I decided to try a different formula.

8 parts castor oil (this makes for a shiny lipstick)
1/4 part beeswax
1 part candelilla wax
1/4 part vitamin E oil
3 parts beet root powder (pink colorant)
1 part alkanet root powder (purple colorant)
1/2 part titanium dioxide (makes the color less sheer and more matte)

Most instructions will tell you to mix this is two phases: the wax and oil phase and the colorant phase. First, you melt the oil and wax and then in a separate container, mix the colorant with some castor oil. Mix the colorants into a smooth paste and mix everything together. Make sure to mix well so everything is smooth. Work quickly for as the mixture cools, it hardens. When you're done mixing, pour into liptstick tubes or lip pots.

I was lazy and just melted the oil and waxes first and then dumped the powder colorants in. I made enough for two tubes. You can make your own natural colorants by dehydrating beet root and alkanet root and pulverizing them in a food processor. There is some sacrifice in texture in going this route, which I will explain in a moment. Here is what the lipstick looks like on my lips:

I will say that the lipstick went on feeling a bit gritty. I suppose that is what happens when you don't use very fine colorants such as mica or iron oxides. I suppose I could also have just run the colorants in a food process to see if I could get the texture more fine, but again, I'm too lazy for that. In any case, it's not unbearably gritty and you don't feel the grit once it's on. Right now, I very much like this formula and this color.

I would not use this as a blusher because the little bits of alkanet root will sometimes stand out and make you look like you have dirt on you. For a powder blush, it' probably best to use a very light dusting of beet root powder. For a matte look and some oil control, add a bit of cornstarch to the powder. To make the color a bit more brown, add a little bit of cocoa powder. I have yet to mix a shade of blush that I think looks good on me, but I haven't tried very often. Lol!

One last thing before I sign off. If you just want clear shiny lip gloss, just rub some pure castor oil on your lips. If you want a little tint to your lip gloss, you can try grinding the beet root powder really fine and add that to the oil.

Zucchini "crab" cakes

Several months back, I stumbled upon a recipe for mock crab cakes. I love crab cakes. I mean, I really love crab cakes! While I was still eating only veggies, crab cakes were definitely one of the items that I had occasional cravings for.

Anyways, I finally got around to trying out the recipe tonight. I paired it with some homemade spicy aioli. The cool thing about this recipe is that it's made with zucchini! Can you believe it? Anyways, the reviews for it says it really does taste like crab cakes. So after the hubby and I tried it, the verdict is pretty positive. I  can't say it tastes exactly like crab cakes, but it does taste like crab cakes.

If you'd like to try it yourself, here's the recipe for the zucchini crab cakes:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Connies-Zucchini-Crab-Cakes/Detail.aspx

For the aioli, take a few cloves of garlic and crush in a mortar with some coarse salt until you get a smooth paste. Scrape into a mixing bowl and whisk in an egg yolk. You can also add some dijon mustard and/or lemon juice. I added half a teaspoon of dijon and half a teaspoon of lemon juice. Start adding a drop of vegetable oil a drop or two at time, all the while whisking to create an emulsion. Keep adding until you incorporate all the oil you want to use. I used about 1/4 cup of canola oil and 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil. I probably could have used more oil, but I liked the taste of it then. Once the aioli is done, I added just a tiny bit of pepper and some of my favorite hot sauce. Then, voila! Spicy aioli sauce!

Black rice

A friend of mine made this really great dish a few weeks back using black rice. I've had black rice before, but have never cooked it myself. My hubby and I really liked what she made and she gave us a few cups to take home. So last night, I decided to try to imitate her dish.

I didn't have quite as many scallions as I would have liked, but at least I had some. So basically, I first cooked the black rice in coconut milk in my rice cooker. My friend had warned me that the rice takes a bit more water and time to soften, but I didn't realize that it would take quite as long as it did. I must have set the rice cooker to cook 3 times before I was happy with the consistency! Of course, I probably should have thought ahead and soaked it first. Anyways, then I scooped out what I wanted to use for dinner and added golden raisins, sliced almonds, scallions, salt, pepper, and my favorite hot sauce. I didn't measure anything so everything was done to taste. All in all, it turned out well! I usually hate raisins in anything, preferring to eat them by themselves, but I actually liked them in this!

Today, I used the leftover rice to make rice pudding. I didn't do anything fancy or anything. I just added more coconut milk and some water and sugar. When it got creamy, I added vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, mace and some cocoa powder. Again, I didn't measure and just seasoned to taste. It didn't need a lot of sugar because the coconut milk has a bit of sweetness to it. I think the coconut milk was such a strong flavor, in fact, that I don't think I was able to taste much of the spices. Anyways, the result was a fairly flavorful dessert. However, if you like the mushy, creamy kind of rice pudding, black rice probably isn't for you. I cooked and cooked it, but it wouldn't get mushy. Black rice simply has a chewier texture and although it's creamy, you just can't get the same texture as something like arborio rice.

Just to note, I'm more of a fan of short grain rice, so my black rice was the short grain variety. I find that short grain rice tend to get stickier and creamier and mushier. Long grain rice just doesn't get as sticky and it usually isn't my top choice when I buy rice. That's just my preference though.

Anyways, I have some more uncooked black rice left on my shelf and I'm wondering what I'll try doing with it next! For now, we have enough cooked leftover rice to satisfy us for a while. :-)

Diaper research

I've been thinking about babies and having babies. In particular, I've been thinking about diapers. To be exact, I've been thinking about cloth diapers. For a while, I was an avid reader of "green" sites and one of the big fads among "greenies" were cloth diapers. After the wave of fascination passed, some people cast doubt on how environmentally friendly cloth diapers are after factoring in using harsh chemicals to launder them and the amount of water used to wash them. I say harsh chemicals because you gotta use pretty strong stuff to regularly wash poop and pee off fabric.

For a long time, I couldn't bear the thought of foregoing the convenience of disposable diapers in favor of cloth diapers. As much as I would like not to add tons of disposable diapers to the landfill, I hate the thought of scraping poop every 2 hours and then washing the nasties in our washer. Although, even if cloth diapers are not necessarily the more eco-friendly alternative, I do believe it's better for our future baby because it's more breathable and isn't filled with weird chemicals. So I decided to do some research on cloth diapering online since it couldn't hurt just to learn more about it before making a decision. After a quick search online, I found this site:
http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/

The site has a lot of information on the different types of cloth diapers out there - and there are a LOT of choices! What I learned was that cloth diapers are expensive, with the fancy ones costing about $24 each. Considering that a newborn can go through 12 to 16 diapers a day, getting a decent stash of cloth diapers requires a huge initial investment. The other thing that concerns me is the fact that babies grow, meaning that you may have to invest in different sized diapers, increasing the cost of cloth diapering. There are cheaper options, but every option comes with pros and cons.

So basically, the most basic cloth diaper is called a prefold or flat. Prefolds and flats are rectangular diapers that you fold up and use pins or Snappis to secure into a diaper on baby. When we think of what our grandmothers used, we are thinking of flats. Prefolds are like the newly improved flats. They have a middle section that's thicker for more absorbency. If you're queasy about using safety pins, you can use something called a Snappi, which is a Y-shaped bit of stretchy rubber with plastic tabs that have little teeth to grip fabric. You can see YouTube videos of how to use Snappis with a flat or prefold diaper. It's quite fascinating, actually. The American Red Cross Babysitter's class, if I remember correctly, had an optional section to teach teenagers how to diaper a baby using a flat piece of cloth. Anyways, if using prefolds and flats, you may want to also use a waterproof or water-resistant cover over them.


Next up are pocket diapers ,which don't need a cover because it comes with a waterproof layer. It has a pocket for you to put in an absorbent insert. You can use a prefold or flat as an insert or you can buy inserts made from all kinds of materials like microfiber or hemp.

Fitted diapers have elastic and fasteners. They look a bit more like disposable diapers, but like prefolds and flats, they require a cover. I think most of the homemade diapers on Etsy.com are of this kind. Some fitted diapers come with pockets.

All-in-one diapers, or AIOs, most resembles a disposable diaper. There is no cover needed nor any inserts. These are the most expensive kind, but are super easy to use. Some AIOs also come with pockets in case your baby is a heavy wetter.

From this site, I also learned of something called, "elimination communication." It's potty-training your baby as soon as possible. Babies make signs or faces when they're about to go and when mommies see this, mommies can immediately put their baby on the potty. This causes the baby to associate the potty with going and the baby may learn to hold it until a potty is available. Mommies who have done this say that after hitting the one year old mark, their babies can get to the point where they rarely need a diaper and if they do soil themselves, it's because mommy wasn't paying attention when baby was trying to tell her baby needs to go! Fans of this method really love it and claims that it really works very well because it reduces the need for diapers and gives you another way to bond with your baby.

There is a third diapering option I'm considering. It's a hybrid solution between cloth and disposable diapering. Basically, parents can opt for a cloth cover that can be reused and use flush-able inserts. It's an attractive option because you're not adding as much to the landfill and you don't have to deal with poop.

The most attractive option in my mind right now is elimination communication combined with cloth diapering. The less time I spend cleaning poop, the better. What makes cloth diapering especially attractive, other than for the reasons mentioned above, is that I can use it for more than one child. Plus, cloth diapers come in really cute prints, materials and colors! The consumer in me is very excited at the prospect of shopping! However, the frugal in me says, it's much, much more practical to choose a cheap cloth diaper. For instance, using prefolds with an attractive cover instead of going for fitted cloth diapers.

Unfortunately, many people have had issues using prefolds. Some find them bulky and others have issues getting them fitted around a squirmy baby. Some really love them, but I won't know which camp I fall into until I try them out, I suppose.

Another attractive option is to get a one-size diaper. A one-size diaper can come as a pocket or AIO or AIO with a pocket. The one-size diaper has snaps that you can use to adjust the size of the diaper. Theoretically, you can use this same kind of diaper from birth to potty-training. You just have to use a different combination of snaps or fasteners as the baby grows. The BumGenius 4.0 is a very popular one-size diaper. Kawaii is also popular and is much cheaper than others of its kind. Reviews for both have been very good.

Now, another thing to consider when opting for cloth diapers is laundering. Many parents have installed a sprayer in the bathroom to spray gunk off the diapers before putting them in the diaper pail. I would prefer this over using an old spatula to scrape stuff or swishing the dirty diaper in the toilet. Still is really gross though.

Then there's the diaper pail. Supposedly, there are two ways to go about this. You can either use a wet pail or a dry pail. A dry pail is a pail with a liner. You thrown the diapers in there and when it's time to wash, you dump everything into the washer including the liner. A wet pail is a pail filled with liquid. Usually, the liquid has some soap or other pre-treating stuff in it. Dirty diapers are tossed into the wet pail and soak until wash time. When it's time to do laundry, you just pour everything into the washer. Wet pails sound like they require more work because you have to change the water pretty much every day to avoid smells and nasty buildup. In doing some research, both types can lead to smells.

The last thing I want to mention on this topic is reusable baby wipes, or cloth wipes. If I'm going to go this route, why not consider all my reusable options? There are some really soft and pretty cloths out there and you can make your own wipe solution. Soiled baby cloths go into the washer along with the soiled diapers and can be washed in the same load.

I know this all sounds like we'd be dealing in poop a great deal. That's probably true, but it's worth considering if our baby doesn't do well with disposables or we have the time and energy to devote to it. I admit that the initial investment can be high, but it doesn't have to be and if we're lucky, cloth diapering can actually save us money in the long run. Of course, this is all hypothetical talk and speculation. I'm not pregnant and we're not planning to have a baby for at least a few more months. :-)

Smoking is BAD

For a loooong time, my hubby would scoff whenever I held my breath around a person smoking a cigarette. I told him it's because second-hand smoke kills too and he would laugh and tell me there's no real evidence of that. I don't remember any of the articles I read that expounded on the dangers of second-hand smoke, nor do I remember reading any of the studies that the articles were based on. I just know that from reading articles in my past, I've come to the conclusion that there is no safe amount of cigarettes, even if I'm not the one smoking.

So of course I couldn't prove and back up my claims to my hubby. I never thought I had to file away what I read to prove what many now consider to be common knowledge. Still, he may scoff at me all he wants. I still hold true to my conclusions.

What is fortuitous today is my stumbling across this article:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/CancerPreventionAndTreatment/surgeon-general-cigarette-smoke-ravages-organ/story?id=12355628&page=1

Finally, I have some ammo to fire back at his scoffing! Although he'll probably say something like, I couldn't find the link to the study so the report and study could be flawed, blah blah blah. Irritating... but I will not compromise on my attitude towards smoking!


--------update--------

So as predicted, hubby scoffed at me again. He replied saying that the "theory" is based on nothing and again says that all these conclusions are from the study done in 1986. I didn't read anything about these conclusions being based on a study from 1986 so I dunno where he got that idea unless it was an assumption. He continued to explain why the 1986 study was flawed in its conclusions despite the fact that I don't see that study cited anywhere and so hence never thought the study relevant to the article I forwarded him. He ends his reply by saying that air is also harmful and second-hand smoke is only marginally worse.

When I ask him how he would respond if some dude blew cigarette smoke in our baby's face, he said he'd punch the guy. Why would you hit someone if they're not really harming your kid much more than regular air? Hmmm... something's not adding up, right? I told him that but he doesn't see my point.

I think we'll just have to continue to agree to disagree.

No help coming to 9/11 rescuers

I remember 9/11. I still get a bit emotional whenever I think about it or hear it mentioned. I have yet to ever see Ground Zero.

So it really boils my blood when I read something like this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/10/nyregion/10health.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

Honestly, how can Republicans call themselves patriots when would rather give the money to the rich, who continually drain the country dry with impunity, than to those who gave of themselves to help others. I understand that we need to limit and pay down our deficit, but what the Republicans seem to want is to grow the deficit and give all the money to corporations and the super-rich. They are like the anti-Robin Hood. Maybe it's time we need a real Robin Hood.

The search for indestructible stuff

I happen to be very clumsy. I've been living with my hubby for about 2 years now and have broken at least 3 glasses. Every time I wash the dishes, I'm a bit nervous that I will end up breaking another drinking glass. Not only is it terrible that I just destroyed something of his, glass is a real pain to clean up.

In my parents' house, we used mugs for everything. We used mugs to drink tea, coffee, juice, milk, soda, etc. We used mugs to eat cereal and ice cream. It was a great multi-purpose vessel and it wasn't nearly as scary as glass should one break. I could try to encourage the use of mugs for everything in our household, but I've always found it so wonderful and charming to drink juice and water out of a glass. Maybe it's because my parents never got into drinking out of glasses.

That is not to say that my parents didn't have glasses to drink out of. They have some nice ones that came as a set and yes, I've broken some so the set is no longer complete. They also have some very beautiful crystal glasses and yes, I think I've broken at least one of those too. However, these glasses generally were only used on special occasions. I think we did use the tumblers regularly, but after I (and probably my parents) realized that I can't be trusted around them without eventually destroying one, mugs just seemed like a safer choice.

So now that I'm slowing outfitting my newly formed household, I am on the hunt for unbreakable stuff! Or at the very least, less breakable stuff! I made sure to buy a Corelle set of dinnerware for us, dreaming that the stuff will last as long as my mother's set. I think my mother's Corelle stuff may be as old as, if not older than, me! I also got some Anchor Hocking glass containers, feeling that tempered glass is sturdier than regular glass containers. Pyrex is also a favorite of mine. Generally, when it comes to cooking and leftovers and dinnerware, I think I'm set and I know what I want.

However, drinkware is an entirely different story. Yes, we do have mugs - lots of them, in fact. Our Corelle dinnerware set came with a set of mugs. So we're set when it comes to mugs, but how about drinking glasses and barware? Let's first talk about drinking glasses.

My hubby told me about his mother's indestructible glasses. These glasses were, apparently, super sturdy and refused to break. Enchanted by these fabled glasses, I wanted a set of my own and went online to search for some. Most items that came up in my search for "indestructible drinking glass" were made of plastic. I specifically don't want plastic. It just doesn't feel classy or homey to be drinking from plastic in your grown-up home. I want a sippy cup for adults that doesn't look like a sippy cup. Eventually, I came across a couple of viable options.

The first option is by a brand called Duralex:
http://www.duralexusa.com/Picardie-Tumblers-cat1.html?parentId=0
These are reputed to be shock resistant, good for hot and cold drinks, impact and chip resistant,  microwave and dishwasher safe and made to resist sudden extreme temperature changes. Can you ask for more from a glass?

The second option is to get barware made of titanium crystal:
http://www.schott-zwiesel.com/en/tritan1_e.htm
It's crystal, but more durable, so it's good for clumsy adults like me. I don't think these are as durable as a Duralex glass for everyday drinking purposes, but they look very classy. If you have the money, you can buy an entire matching set of barware and tumblers. However, is it worth it to buy drinking glasses from here?

I think if I want my glasses to survive me and my future kids, I should opt for Duralex. I do really like these and would love to get a set. The great thing for me would be less fear of washing glasses. Lol! Like my Corelle dinnerware, I can see Duralex glasses lasting a lifetime.

However, I also crave a good set of wine glasses. Again, I'm always afraid of breaking one of our wine glasses. If we could get some that are a bit more durable, there's a chance that we won't have to replace them as often.

I'm all about durability and I don't mind paying more for it. Things that last a lifetime means less money spent over the years to replace them and less waste generated throwing away stuff that broke. Plus, I have very fond memories of my mother's indestructible dinnerware and cookware. I didn't appreciate the stuff growing up, but seeing the stuff when I visit, I get all sentimental and nostalgic. I wouldn't mind passing that kind of experience to my own children some day.

Fighting Bullying with Babies

Lots of people these days are lamenting the lack of empathy in today's society. With feelings of intolerance being widespread, there are more and more reports and fears of bullying. I often wonder, if people are more empathetic, would it make them less likely to act like a jerk? Being insensitive is one thing, but to know how it feels when someone is hurt and to actively hurt them is malicious behavior, pure and simple. It's the difference between being amoral and immoral. Is it still considered malicious if a person understands that an action will hurt you, but they just don't care because it doesn't hurt them or that hurting you is to their advantage? Would empathy mitigate selfish behavior as well?

In any case, the below article seems to suggest that with empathy, people are more likely to be nicer and kinder. I don't know to what extent people become nicer and kinder in the experiment cited, but it gives evidence that perhaps, most people are jerks because they're insensitive rather than malicious. Maybe there is hope of mankind after all?

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/08/fighting-bullying-with-babies/?src=me&ref=homepage

Versatile clothing - Layerable stuff

So in my previous post, I gushed about convertible clothing. Today, I want to gush about clothes that can be layered. There is nothing more versatile than a piece of clothing you can wear to a variety functions in a variety of ways.

Take, for example, a pair of comfortable black slacks. Black slacks can be dressed up or down, worn with pumps, sneakers or boots. They match most tops and can be worn in warm or cold weather. When it gets colder and the slack aren't warm enough, wear a pair of microfiber tights underneath. When it gets super cold, wear pair of knee high or thigh high socks over the tights. So in this case, these slacks can't be the slim-fitting kind. There needs to be some room for layering underneath it.

Another favorite item is the thin, v-neck sweater. This sweater can be worn alone as a top, or over a collared shirt or turtleneck. It can also be worn under a cardigan. It can be dressed up or down with brooches, necklaces or scarves and a classically-styled v-neck sweater never goes out of fashion! Of course, it doesn't have to be a v-neck. I just happen to like the v-neck.

Microfiber tights are also another indispensable item in my wardrobe. As I mentioned before, I wear them under my slacks for extra warmth. They can also be worn alone with a skirt. The nice thing about tights is that they are more durable than stockings and you can wear them with loafers, oxfords, mules, certain pumps and boots. I stick to plain black tights because it matches just about anything I have.

I also happen to love the basic cardigan. You can layer it over the above-mentioned v-neck sweater or wear it on its own. You can also use it in place of a summer jacket and it's super handy to have if your office air conditioning is too strong.

In terms of lighter wear, there's always the trusty camisole. You can wear it under your shirt, blouse, sweater, or just about any kind of top. A nice, plain camisole made of good material can be worn casual as well as dressed up. I've layered my winter wear with my camisole underneath a turtleneck underneath a v-neck sweater underneath a heavier-weight, long, button-down sweater. Yes, it's bulky, but it keeps me toasty!

Going heavier, a nice heavy-weight, long, button-down sweater is another favorite. I wear this when I want more coverage and warmth, and the cardigan is just not enough. It can also double as a fall or spring jacket in a pinch.

Some things that I've found to be helpful when choosing which pieces to add to my wardrobe. First, it's totally worth the extra money to buy something made with natural fibers. Not only are natural fibers more comfortable to wear, but also reduces static electricity in the winter. As a girl with long hair, and I can attest to the nightmare of walking into a public bathroom stall and having all my hairs stick to the walls! Alpaca is warmer than sheep, but if you have the money, pay for cashmere. Not only is cashmere really soft and warm, it's lightweight because it doesn't require as much bulk to maintain warmth. Silk is also a great material. It's cool in the summer and warm in the winter and nothing drapes and flatters you like silk. Silk can be dressed up or worn casually depending on the weave, cut and style. If can't afford silk, cotton is just as good for light-weight clothes. It's breathable, absorbent and very durable.

Well, that's all I have on this topic. Until next time, have an awesome day!

Versatile clothing - Convertible stuff!

I've been thinking about paring down my wardrobe. I can't bring myself to do it yet, but I'm thinking about it. I'm inspired by a woman in a NYTimes article that wore only 6 pieces of clothing for a month and nobody noticed! That means that we really don't need a giant closet of clothes. It also means that if I were to purge my closet, the pieces I keep will need to be versatile, able to be worn to a variety of functions and able to be worn in a variety of ways. Versatility includes the ability to layer and be worn with other clothes to create warmth and new looks. Clothes also need to be comfortable. If a piece of clothing is not comfortable, I am less likely to wear it. So that means that the clothes I keep in my closet need to be made of comfortable, breathable fabric. Natural fabrics like cotton, wool and silk feel the nicest to me. The last thing to consider in a piece of clothing is fit. Even if I can fit into a piece of clothing, I'm not going to wear it if it makes me feel self-conscious, fat or insecure. Clothes that make me feel good about myself tend to be ones that fit me in all the right places. On this front, I can either shop until I find pieces that fit me or I can make my own clothes. :-)

Right now, my favorite clothes tend to be convertible clothing. I've been fascinated with convertible clothing! From the convertible dress to the convertible scarf, these are clothes that I think gives the most bang for the buck. The fact that they can be worn a variety of different ways means that they can be worn over and over again without looking boring. Part of the fun is finding new ways to wear it!

One such item is the convertible/infinity dress. It's a simple dress you can make yourself. Instructions can be found here: http://rowena.typepad.com/rostitchery/infinity-dress.html
I made one earlier this year and plan to make another one later with some alterations using the lessons learned from my first one. If you're not into sewing, you can also buy one. Victoria's Secret, Monif C and Dessy all have their own version of the convertible dress. Simply put, the convertible dress is a skirt with two fat, long straps attached. Styling is varied depending on how your wrap the straps.

Another favorite convertible dress of mine was actually found at a street fair for 20 bux! I am told it was made from old silk saris, but I have no idea really where the fabric comes from though I do believe it is silk. Anyways, it's basically a two layered wrap skirt with long straps extending from the waistband. There are a few ways to wear it as a skirt, but my favorite is wearing it as a dress. It can be worn many different ways as a dress and it is one of the most comfortable items of clothing I own. You can buy a version of this online and see the different ways to wear it here: http://www.karizadesigns.com/

Continuing on this convertible stuff tract, I also love convertible wraps! I've made a few of these and as long as you make the wrap light and thin, you can wear it as a belt, scarf or wrap. Add buttonholes all around the edges, connect a bunch of buttons with jump rings to make them like cuff links, and your wrap can also be turned into a shrug or poncho. See the knitting pattern and ways to wear it here: http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring06/PATTconvertible.html

The last convertible item I have are convertible mittens. Okay, I know convertible mittens are not versatile like the above examples, but I still love them! As much as I prefer gloves, the truth is that mittens are warmer. However, there are times when I need fingers! With convertible mittens, you can flip the cap off to expose your fingers and when you're done, you can flip the mitten caps back on. Perfect!

Maybe I love convertible clothing partly because of my love of cool, well-designed gadgets like the iPhone. Or maybe I just love cool clothing. Whatever the case, I am really, really happy to have some convertible items in my closet!

Cat vs. Printer

Toadstool table and chairs set

Okay, I admit that I am mildly obsessed with mushrooms. What can I say? They're just SO AWESOME!! Not only are they adorable, they are also really delicious! So when I saw the picture in the link below, I can't tell you how I gasped and ogled!

http://www.chasing-fireflies.com/toadstool-table-chairs-set/productinfo/26401/

Love my new earrings!

I found these on Etsy and have been coveting them for about a year now. Finally, I treated myself to a pair.

Check out the Etsy shop here:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/strungoutdesigns?ref=pr_shop_more

It's NaNoWriMo, baby!

Once again, it is time for National Novel Writing Month! Every November the challenge goes out to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. Writing begins at midnight, November 1st and ends midnight, November 30. It is an intense amount of writing to do. I've tried to do it a couple of times before, but have never succeeded. This year, I have a writing buddy! Maybe that will spur me onto NaNoWriMo success in 2010!

Before I began this, I had some ideas of what I was going to do. Originally, I was going to prepare an outline for the novel, but never got around to it. So I am now just writing and letting the story take me where it will. I also originally planned to do a high fantasy novel, like the ones I was obsessed with reading in my adolescence. Currently, I find myself writing something more like chick lit taking place in a weirdly modern fantasy world.


It's only Day 2 in the challenge, so the story and characters are still being fleshed out. Right now, the main character is female and she starts the story at a low point in her life. After spending Day 1 writing the beginning, I got tired of it and skipped to another scene. Today, I can't seem to stay focused on my scenes, feeling uninspired and aimless. I hope that the novel will gain some substance and excitement as I trudge on!


Check out NaNoWriMo here:
nanowrimo.org

Quality education for all

I honestly believe that quality education should be made available to everyone. We all know and see the benefits of getting everyone in a country to learn how to read, write and do math. Educating the population elevates everyone's potential, which elevates an entire country's potential. If every country's potential is elevated, our entire world's potential is elevated. Think of what can be accomplished if everyone in the world was afforded a good, basic education?

That is why this article makes me happy!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/01/world/europe/01iht-educLede01.html?pagewanted=1&ref=world

Smell like a monster

Anger towards Marie Claire

I was infuriated last night watching the finale of Project Runway. In my fury, I went online to see if others felt what I felt. While reading others' posts and feeling better that I wasn't alone in how I felt, I stumbled across something else that has been happening at Marie Claire magazine. I admit I am not always up on current events, so this may be old news, but when I read it, it blew my mind!

Here's the link to the original post on Marie Claire by Maura Kelly:
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

As someone who has struggled with my own body issues my whole life, I cannot believe the non-apologetic apology and the staff at Marie Claire standing by the post! I'm not going to reiterate the outrage that most others have already expressed, nor am I going to write my own editorial of the post since I think Josh Shahryar did it better here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/josh-shahryar/dear-marie-claire-and-med_b_775159.html

I really don't understand why the folks at Marie Claire think it is okay to hurt the feelings of their readers when they are supposed to help them feel better. Certainly, one can argue that fashion magazines don't actually make women feel better, but their glossy pages always pretend that they are for the benefit of women rather than to their detriment. What was posted is just so blatantly mean and unapologetically damaging that any pretense of being for the benefit or entertainment of women is lost.

Yes, they have the freedom to post such speech. However, as good human beings, there needs to be an eye towards publishing responsible speech. It is most disturbing that neither the author nor Marie Claire is expressing any indication that they truly understand why the original post is so offensive. Is this just another indication that people are losing their ability to empathize, or even pretend to empathize?

A conscious decision to change direction

This has been a fairly fluffy blog. I have made an effort to avoid controversial topics. However, I have been finding it more and more difficult to avoid posting about events that have touched me. I am a very opinionated person, and though I don't have an opinion on everything, I am very passionate about things that I do care about.

So I'm going to start posting more of my opinions and links to articles that has piqued my interest in one way or another. I'll probably go light at first and get deeper as more issues inspire me. The disclaimer to all this is that I am not always fully informed, nor am I unbiased. I'm just saying not to take anything I say too seriously. Feel free to disagree with me without being mean and nasty. I find it sad that it feels like the ability to have a civilized debate is dying away. I don't agree with my hubby on certain things and we'll argue, but it never devolves into accusations of stupidity and/or threats of physical harm. I have never ended a friendship based on differences in politics or religion. The way I see it, insulating myself with only like-minded individuals makes it harder for me to keep practicing empathy, and it makes it harder for me to break out of my comfortable mental grooves.

After all, being challenged isn't always a bad thing. We all just have to remember that just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn't mean they're automatically a bad person through and through. There are always different points of view and different reasonings towards conclusions and having a civilized debate is one way towards understanding and compassion.

Pumpkin Pie

This past weekend, I decided it was time our little pumpkin made itself useful. My hubby bought it for me to carve up because I told him I had never carved a pumpkin before. However, I never did get around to carving it and honestly, I didn't have much desire to. So it just sat there on the table gathering dust. This past weekend, I made pumpkin pie out of it.

It was surprisingly simple, but as it was my first time making it, I probably made the process more complicated than it had to be. In the end, all the effort was worth it! My hubby totally loves the pie and insisted on getting heavy cream to make whipped cream to go with the pie. I have to admit, the pie is pretty tasty and even tastier with the homemade whipped cream!

If you're thinking about making your own pumpkin pie, check out the instructions I followed here:
http://www.cheapvegetablegardener.com/2010/10/making-a-pumpkin-pie-from-scratch.html
For our pie, I cut back a tiny bit on the sugar and instead of nutmeg, I used mace, which is sort of like a stronger nutmeg.

Paper flower pomanders

Even though I'm done with weddings, I can't help pausing when I see a pretty flower pomander or kissing ball. Here's one that I think looks really festive and cute! The flowers are made from a set of paper punches and glued or pinned to a styrofoam ball.

http://www.holiday-crafts-and-creations.com/wedding-kissing-balls.html

Craving Big Macs

I have not eaten McD's in a really long time. The last time I had McD's I was very disappointed that the Big Mac tasted nowhere as good I remember it. Perhaps I have been spoiled by "real" burgers or perhaps I've just outgrown my love of cardboard meat. In any case, I haven't had a Big Mac since and I miss it. It's sad to know that the Big Mac of your memory really isn't very tasty and really doesn't exist.

So I was excited to see this recipe:

http://locallemons.com/local_lemons/2009/12/big-mac-make-your-own-have-a-party.html
Wow! Make your own Big Macs! I've always thought the McD's Big Macs would taste much better with good burger patties, but never knew how to make the special sauce. This is a recipe that I would definitely like to attempt one of these days...

Lovely paper shredder

I like to shred paper. I really do. I just hate how loud our paper shredder is! I rarely ever use it because of the noise. I mean, why torture myself if I only have one sheet of paper to shred? So I'll usually get a small pile going beforeI turn the sucker on and watch the paper get eaten.  I also think our paper shredder is ugly. It's practical, but the thing is an eyesore.

So imagine how I felt when I saw this hand cranked-paper shredder:
http://www.aplusrstore.com/product.php?id=631

Not only is it pretty, but it's quiet and it's super compact! Plus, because it's hand-cranked, it saves on electricity. I totally love this thing! However, I don't think my hubby would want to replace our current, still functioning shredder with this one.

DIY "Swiffer" Sweeper

I'll admit that I like using the swiffer for the in between moppings. I'll also say that I use a lot of sheets and those sheets get pretty pricey! So if you've got some old T-shirts lying around waiting to be donated or thrown out, here's a DIY project to make reusable Swiffer sheets:

http://www.diylife.com/2010/10/13/diy-swiffer-sweepers/

Reusable tea cup

It's true that I don't need another cup to drink my tea or coffee. However, I do have to say this particular teacup deserves a little attention here. It features a little button to hold your tea bag while it steeps. I can't tell you how many times I've lost my tea bag string and this little feature would have been very useful. On top of that, it comes with a silicone cap and band, and it's got a pretty pattern reminiscent of chinese tea cups you find in Asian supermarkets. All in all, I really like this!
http://www.mocha.uk.com/shop/index.cgi?command=moreinfo&search=DC09

Guilty pleasures

Everyone has one or two or more. Ever since I've been trying to live a healthier lifestyle, my number of guilty pleasures have increased exponentially. Right now, I'm in the fallen-off-the-wagon mode. I'm so far off the wagon, that I'll need to take several slow steps to get back on the wagon, and then back on track. Lol!

So currently, here is a list of my guilty pleasures:

I am still an omnivore. I drop the veggie-only lifestyle when I'm away. I can't fully relax on a vacation if I'm always worried about where I'm going to be able to find my next meal. I usually get back on track when I return, but this time, I've been dragging my feet. It's not because I'm addicted to the taste of meat. In fact, there are times when I find what I'm eating too meaty. It's that I'm really enjoying the ability to order anything I want on any given menu. I love the feeling that I'm no longer limited in my choice of restaurants and food. I love tha feeling of food freedom. However, I do feel guilty about eating meat, so I'm weaning myself off meat and back into a veggie-only lifestyle.

Eating dessert every night. Generally, I limit the number of desserts I eat and I limit the amount of the dessert I eat. Lately, I've been indulging almost every night! I can already feel my pants feeling tighter. Lol! So the time to cut back is now. I can't afford a new wardrobe anyways. :-)

Snacking on yogurt pretzels. Usually, I avoid snacking unless I'm really hungry. Lately, I've been snacking even when I'm only mildly hungry or simply because the snack is there. To make matters worse, I've been snacking on these yogurt pretzels from a newly opened convenience store. The ingredients list has "hydrogenated oil" printed first, which means this a pretty unhealthy snack. Luckily, the box is small so I can only have so many. I don't plan to buy another box anytime soon once the current box is finished. I do like them, but there are other things I prefer to snack on.

Shirking chores. I'm ashamed to say that I have been putting off sweeping and mopping. I've been good about the dishes, countertops, laundry and other stuff, but I just can't bring myself to do the floors! I've also been lazy about brushing the cat hair off the couch. I'd like to get into the habit of brushing the couch every day, but I just can't seem to get around to it. Perhaps the answer is to get hubby to do more housework?

Two spatulas/turners

You know the utensil you use to flip omelets and pancakes and other general cooking purposes? I never knew what to call them in English. In Chinese, I think we used a word equivalent to "shovel." I suppose it's because it looks like we're shoveling the food around in the wok. Anyways, we tried out our fabulous electric griddle this past weekend and realized we needed a nylon or silicone turner for our griddle's nonstick surface. We had only metal turners or thick wooden ones that look like paddles. We ended up using a silicone spatula, which worked fine, but we were resolved afterward to buy a turner for nonstick cookware.

So yesterday, we headed over to Bed Bath and Beyond after work to get a turner and a few other things. While browsing the cooking utensils section, we were torn between two sizes of nylon turners. Ideally, we would go with the smaller one with a longer handle, but that particular specification did not exist in front of us. Somehow, hubby talked me into getting both and we now have two nylon turners when I only wanted to get one! Do we really need two turners in two different sizes? I don't think so. So now I have put one out in the kitchen for easy reach and the other one in the pile of less used kitchen utensils.

Upon seeing the pile of less used kitchen utensils, I am left wondering if we really need to actually keep any of them? A couple of the wooden spoons were left to us from hubby's grandmother's collection, but we really don't need 5 wooden spoons. We also have wooden turners/spatulas that came with our wok, which we never use because they're too thick.

Thinking about this further, we really have a lot of stuff that we don't use and really don't need. Many of those things are new, which makes throwing them out wasteful. I could just put them out by the front gate. Stuff that gets put outside often gets taken away by passerbys. Yeah, maybe I'll just put out the stuff we'll never use by the front gate.

Of course, the best thing to do going forward is not to buy or accummulate things that we don't need. Unnecessary things take up space, cause clutter and in the end, is a waste of money. It's not worth bringing home. Now, I'm not a minimalist or anything, but I find that the older I get, the more minimalistic I'm becoming. Who knows? Maybe 10 years later, we'll have nothing in the house but the barest of necessities. Haha! I'm dreaming. My hubby will never let that happen, being the cluttering pack rat that he is! :-)

Paring down my skin care routine

I'm thinking about ways to cut down on my skincare routine. Before weddings took over my life, I would make my own toner, lotion and creams. My toner is just aloe water and floral hydrosol. I use small squares of cloth or sponges to apply the toner and then throw them into the laundry basket. As for the lotion, I have a favorite summer recipe for a really light lotion. Unfortunately, I just couldn't get my act together to make lotion when I ran out earlier this year. So I end up just putting on a very light layer of coconut oil on my face as my facial moisturizer. I love doing it so much, I have no desire to use anything else. I particularly like it as a night cream. I did eventually make my lotion again and have been using it mostly on my hands and legs and any eczema spots.

Today, I thought more about my face routine. When I was a teenager, I used absolutely no products on my face and I never broke out. All I did was gently wash my face with cold water in the morning and evening and then let my face air dry. The key is to avoid touching your face. Your hands touch all kinds of things and dirt and grime can get trapped under your nails. So when you scratch that itch on your nose or rub your cheek, you may be depositing dirt on to your skin. Right now, I'd like to get back into the habit of not touching my face. I'm not sure about going back to just splashing my face with water and nothing else though. It's definitely cheaper, but may not be the best for my now-drier skin. For several days, I've been sticking to water only, just to sort of "reset" my face. I wanted to know what it feels like with nothing "treating" it and the verdict was, "pretty dry." So the past few days, I've been washing my face with only water and then applying a light coat of coconut oil. This routine only applies when I don't wear makeup, which is most of the time. If I wear makeup, I slather on some extra virgin olive oil on my face, wait a few minutes and wash it off with a clear glycerin soap.

It's all pretty simple, quick and easy. However, I'm still having a problem breaking the habit of touching my face. Lol! I'll have to continue working on that.

Homemade Toothpaste

I can't tell you how much I miss cooking, cleaning and knitting on a regular basis. Ah, the life of a homebody without wedding obligations is a life I've been wanting to return to for what seems like ages. So what other old habits are itching for a return?

Well, for one thing, I've gone back to searching for a good homemade toothpaste recipe. I am currently using a cinnamon flavored commercial toothpaste made by Tom's of Maine, but I'm finding the cinnamon to be really harsh on my tongue and lips. Particularly with my lips, they tend to feel hurt and dry and the toothpaste makes my eczema flare up on the corners. The issue I have with homemade toothpastes is that most of them use baking soda and/or salt as their base, and there is still debate about whether or not brushing with baking soda is too abrasive for teeth. I've been wondering if simply diluting it would make it less abrasive. After all, lots of commercial toothpastes contain baking soda, so there must be a way to brush with it without scraping off enamel. Some users of homemade toothpaste simply advise against brushing too hard, which is something I do. So, I found a recipe online that I might try, but I'll be taking out the salt. I think salt is too abrasive for my brushing habits. It looks like the baking soda should be diluted enough in this mixture and they use xylitol sweetener, which has shown some evidence of being good for teeth.

http://thriftysoaper.blogspot.com/2009/03/best-homemade-toothpaste.html

I don't think I'll be able to kick the commercial mouthwash habit though since a fluoride rinse is still important for oral care, and I think the fluoride in our water may not be enough. This is all speculation, of course. We'll know for sure whether or not my oral regimen works depending on whether or not my teeth fall out. Lol!

Homemade sunblock

For my honeymoon, I took with me some homemade sunblock. We also bought commercial sunblock once we got there. The commercial sunblock was my backup for when I ran out or if I should find it unusable for whatever reason. I did not test my sunblock before using it so I had no idea if it was going to be effective. At the end of the trip, I have to say, it absolutely DOES work!

Basically, I had some titanium dioxide and zinc oxide powder lying around with my soaping supplies and added lots of that stuff to my homemade lotion. It completely changed the texture of the lotion and every time I added a small spoonful of either powder to the lotion, I rubbed some of the mixture onto myself to see how bad the whitening effect was. I did not use micronized powders, so I think whitening is something I just had to deal with. I stopped added powder when I figured I don't want to whitened more than this. Then I was done and I had sunblock!

Some things to note about this sunblock. It's not waterproof or even water resistant. It readily washes off with water. That was okay with me since I spent most of my time out of the water because I don't particularly like the water. It also definitely whitened the skin wherever I applied and yes, the whitening effect was definitely noticeable. I supposed I could have used an oil and beeswax lotion to make it more water resistant, but I don't like the greasy, sort of sticky feeling of those formulations. As for the whitening effect, it is possible that I went a little overboard with the amount of powder and could have done with less. Whatever the case, I can say that I spent almost every day for at least 10 days lying on a sunny beach and never burned and tanned minimally. The one day I tanned the most was the one day I didn't use my homemade sunblock. Granted I stayed under a shady umbrella most of the time, I'm telling you I've tried many brands of sunblock and this stuff works!

Next time, I'll try it with a little less powder, or make it with a small amount of colorant to balance out the whitening effect. I'm still not sure how to make it water resistant without using beeswax and if I do use beeswax, I'm not sure how much would be needed to make it really water resistant. Hmmm... I'll have to do a little experimenting next summer. :-)

Saying good bye to my last name

For as long as I can remember, the expectation was that the bride changes her name when she gets married. I never really questioned this and until I was getting married myself, I never gave it much thought. At first, my hubby and I just assumed I would drop my maiden name and take his. However, as I thought about it, I started to feel more conflicted. Why should I have to drop a part of me that's been a part of me and my heritage my whole life until now? Why should I have to drop something has been so integral in identifying me as part of my father's family without being able to pass this legacy to my children? In Chinese tradition, the bride never loses her name, even though technically, she is no longer part of her father's family anymore. I also started to feel a bit offended that it's assumed that I should have to give up something so integral to my identity and the guy doesn't have to give up any part of his. Is it fair? Certainly not! However, it's tradition and still a very popular one.

I remember at one point, bringing up the idea of keeping my maiden name to my hubby. He totally balked at the idea, being the traditionalist that he is about these things, and I backed down. Now, the more I think about it, the more unhappy I am with this tradition. It's totally one-sided! My giving up my name is not just disavowing my relationship to my parents' family, it is also disavowing my Chinese heritage. The new name I'd be taking on is decidedly not a Chinese name. I don't have a Chinese first name, so in essence, people who see my name will automatically assume that out of all the ethnicities I could be, I couldn't possibly be Asian. Ha! I admit, I do relish the idea of making people look twice at me and then at my name, but the feeling of indignation is still there.

Now that it's finally sinking in that my name has changed, I'm not sure I like it. I sort of regret having made the decision and wish I had at least made the decision to delay doing it so I can really ponder what it meant without having my head filled with wedding drama and stress. Despite my rather meticulous nature, I must admit I didn't give this as much thought as I should have. Honestly, during the planning process, I really didn't think it was that big a deal.

Thinking about it some more, what may be really bothering me is the assumption that I would be the one to drop my name. The tradition was never questioned and I was never given a real chance to figure out my options. My hubby knew he wanted me to take his name and there was no question in his mind, as far as I could tell, that that is what should happen. I still regret not having pressed the issue more when I brought up the idea of keeping my name. He made his objections known and pushed for it with more conviction than I had at the time. In the end, my hubby got what he wanted and I'm the one left holding this bag, but it's my own fault for not having been stronger. And in case you were wondering, hyphenation is totally not an option with my maiden name. It would sound ridiculous!

However, the name change is a done deal because we signed the marriage license and my new name is now technically in effect. I suppose I can change it back if I really want to but as indignant as I am, I'm also lazy and don't relish the thought of going through a name change process. I'm really just pissed about feeling like this was a done deal before I had a chance to really flesh this change out in my head. I'm pissed about the unfairness of it and I feel rather hussled into it. In truth, I never really thought about my maiden name as precious or valuable or anything. I took it completely for granted. Now that I've lost it, I'm feeling really sad about it. I'm starting to realize just how much my father's name means to me.

The honeymoon

We went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon and splurged to get the VIP treatment at the all-inclusive resort we stayed at. We had been there before, which is why we chose it. It was a safe choice and we totally love it there!

This was our hard-earned do-nothing vacation, so we spent our two weeks doing nothing but wake up, eat, slather on sunblock, sit on the beach, eat and drink some more. My hubby had a hard time disconnecting and never fully did that. I wanted a total disconnect from anything non-vacation, meaning I didn't want to read the news, hear about the news, check email, surf the web or check my voicemail. My hubby couldn't do all that and I did get annoyed with him when he read something in the news and tried to talk to me about it. He got the picture after I complained and he limited his conversations to news articles that were mostly fluff.

There's not much else to say about our honeymoon. We had a good time, relaxed and slept our fill every day. Our days on the beach consisted of us ordering drinks, eating hors d'oeuvres, watching the waves, reading and knitting. Every so often, we'd take a walk along the beach, play in the water and pet the "beach dog." I call him that because he hangs out on the beach on most days and is super friendly and sweet! He has soft fur and loves being petted. People also tried to feed him, but I think he mostly hangs out at the beach because it's a nice place to hang out and lots of people pet him. I'm not sure if he belongs to anybody as there never seems to be an owner around.

At the end of two weeks, we were actually quite ready to come back to NYC. Not that we didn't have a wonderful time or anything. We had a great time! It's just that we can only do nothing for so long before we start feeling a little restless. Also, the daily routine of slathering on tons of sunblock was getting on our nerves. That is one part I don't think I'll ever miss! When we landed in NY, I realized that there were definitely things I missed!

For one thing, I really missed the food! The resort's food was pretty excellent. Not only was the food delicious, there was a lot of variety. Most all-inclusives aren't as good on the food front. However, there's no beating the quality and variety of foods available in NYC! We also missed hanging out and chatting with our friends and family. Most of all, we missed our cat! I will say that the one thing I didn't miss was the daily commute. Oh well, the honeymoon is now over. Time to get back to the daily grind!

Side note on wedding drama

It seems that no wedding planning process is complete without at least a little drama. In my earlier post, I wrote that we were lucky that there were no other hands in the wedding planning process but our own, which made things much, much easier. What I didn't mention was the difficulty in dealing with certain family members while we were planning our wedding. Although they didn't ruin the wedding or make a scene, I do feel that our relationship with these people have been permanently altered.

At first, we thought it might be a jealousy thing. Some people just don't react well to happy news when they're miserable. Some people get downright nasty when they're jealous. During the wedding planning process, my hubby and I have had our fair share of damaging interactions with unhappy people. As much as we would like to sympathize, forgive and help them, we have come to the conclusion that in some cases, you can't help them unless they help themselves and it's best to protect ourselves in the meanwhile. In truth, there is lingering anger, frustration and lots of hurt feelings still, but now that the wedding's over, the pressure to try and get them to behave nicely is off. Despite the hurtful behavior from these people, my hubby and I strove to give them every chance to "get over it" and start acting gracious. In the end, they still behaved like petty people, more focused on their own misery than trying to at least not be rude to us on our wedding day. I feel like they were almost angry that they couldn't ruin it for anybody without embarrassing themselves in front of everyone.

In any case, I won't go into details, but the ongoing and the on again, off again drama plagued our planning process. It took up not only an emotional and mental toll, but sucked up time because with every incident, there had to be some tears, venting, analyzing and then discussion on how to move forward. So you can say that these incidents weren't minor to us. Perhaps these people always had tendencies towards being petty, jealous and mean, but certainly they had never acted to such an extreme degree until we were engaged. Much of the process was tinged with the "what do we do about these people?" question. In the end, we chose to try to be gracious towards these people. However, we also had to shield them from some other guests that they were... unfriendly with. That meant that the mean people could not be given places of honor normally accorded to people in their positions.

Despite the unpleasantries, and we did experience a little at the wedding, they were unable to ruin it for us. That's partly because there were just too many people that were having a good time and really wanted to wish us well. It's also partly because the wedding was about us, not them, and as much as they'd like to pretend it's all about them, I'm sure it was a difficult fantasy to keep up. Thank goodness for that!

Wedding after-thoughts

I did the best I could to plan a big, expensive event. The truth is, I've never done this sort of thing before and I can't say I really knew what I was doing. However, I knew what I wanted in general and figured that I'll do what I can towards my goals and let the chips fall where they may on the wedding day. So basically, I had no concrete idea what would stand out to my guests and what touches they would find attractive or amusing.

So here is a list of things my guests have specially told me that they appreciated:

- Music from Tetris for the prelude music. As guests were getting seated for the ceremony, the DJ played a mix of Tetris music. Anybody who played Tetris growing up instantly appreciated this!

- Using Love Me Do by the Beatles for the Bride's Entrance music. People were clapping to the music as I approached and I must say, it was one of most gratifying sites I've ever seen!

- Using Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom End Credits for the recessional music. Some guests didn't get this, but others thought it was totally awesome.

- A few of my guests thought the ceremony that the Rabbi created with me and my hubby had our personalities stamped all over it. It was very important to us that both of us were represented in the ceremony and both backgrounds were given equal attention. The result was a nicely balanced ceremony.

- The MC and DJ. I can't take credit for their work, of course. I can't even claim I found them myself. A good friend of mine hired them for her wedding and recommended them to us. We hired them because we liked the MC, who was also our sales rep, and their company also handled our photography. I figured the fewer vendors we had to deal with, the better, as long as the few vendors we choose were good. They were an awesome choice! Our guests actually got up and danced and I owe it to them!

- Rocky the raccoon. Our stuffed animal raccoon was a huge hit! The significance of raccoons was explained in the ceremony, so when people saw him at the reception, they understood why he was there. What I didn't expect was for people to dance with him on the dance floor, pose with him for pictures and try to feed him glasses of champagne!

- Guest book tree. We ordered a tree poster from Etsy that came with leaf stickers. Guests could write their name on the leaves and stick them on the tree. Everyone really loved it, but it was a real b*tch getting the sticker backing off. Afterwards, hubby thought maybe it would have been better if we had pre-stuck the leaves and all guests had to do was sign it. However, sticking stickers on something was part of the fun! Oh well.

- My many dresses. I wore a total of four different dresses that night. The white wedding dress, the aubergine evening dress, the red wedding qipao and the low backed lavender dress with navy blue sash. I sewed the last dress myself. Guests seemed to really like this particular tradition in Chinese weddings and I love wearing fancy dresses!

- Cake toppers. We used bride and groom rubber duckies we bought at City Hall when we got our marriage license. People commented that they had never seen such cake toppers before and thought they were adorable. Hubby and I just thought they were cute when we got them. I originally didn't plan on having cake toppers at all, but hubby really liked them. Turns out he wasn't alone!


I do have a couple of regrets. One is that there were none of my hand-wired butterflies on the cake. I spent an entire evening hand-wiring 60 butterflies, carefully stuffing them into a big envelope and sent it to the venue's baker. My fingers were quite sore by the end of that evening. I made the effort to confirm that the baker had received the butterflies along with an example photo and general instructions. I also emailed the sales rep and banquet manager about them and they acknowledged everything should be in order. None if made any difference and there were no butterflies on my cake. The other regret, which is not nearly as big, is that I didn't get around to making centerpieces. The venue provided votives for the tables, which is great because they looked pretty, didn't block anyone's view of anything, and I didn't have to bring a big box of centerpieces for them to set up. It turned out fine and I didn't have to drive myself crazy making centerpieces, but there's a part of me that thinks it would have been a great craft project to undertake!


Other personal touches included our hand-made ketubah, which didn't make as big a splash with the guests, but seemed to impress the Rabbi and Maitre'd. It was made by me. Lol! It's actually a rather small ketubah, but I was constrained by the size of the artsy papers I had to work with. The ketubah was made in layers. I bought a black bordered cardstock frame with cardstock backing and built it up from the backing. I also bought this green paper with some stylized plantlife on it. I pasted that onto the center of the backing. I then cut out individual blades of grass out of darker green, plain paper and pasted it onto the bottom border of the stylized paper. I left the upper parts of the blades unglued so that they curled a bit and stuck out. The ketubah text was printed onto a sheet of plain vellum paper and that was the paper we signed. Once that was signed, the vellum sheet was placed, right adjusted, under the curled tips of grass. The black bordered frame, which was prepped before the wedding, had a tree cut out from brown paper pasted on the left border, and the bottom border also had blades of grass glued to it. Instead of leaves, I tore off blossoms from my leftover fake hydrangea flowers and hot-glued them to the top of the tree, which became the top border. At the signing, I placed the vellum sheet onto the backing, then took a clear plastic sheet and placed it under the blades of grass over the vellum sheet, and then placed the modified frame border on top. Everything was taped in place temporarily so that it can be displayed. Once home, I glued the vellum sheet down and then tried to glue the plastic sheet down in way to minimize the paper's exposure to air, then I glued down the frame. It was a lot of work, but I think it was worth it! Actually, I had a different design in mind when I was designing it in my head, but once I started working on it, the project sort of just resulted in what I described above. Lol! I'm planning to mount the whole thing onto sturdier backing to prevent warping in the future.

All in all, I think I was a decently crafty bride. Here is a list of my completed projects:

- 6 bouquets
- 2 corsages
- 5 bouts
- hubby's crocheted yarmulke
- 3 memorial candles (just cylinders of printed vellum paper)
- ketubah
- invitations
- 3 metal-framed fabric purses (special gifts for some special people)
- hair flower clip
- Bridal Suite sign
- Reserved seating signs
- my last dress
- table number signs and stands
- veil
- garter

The above list was a LOT of work. There was research, a couple of failed attempts for a few items, and a lot of effort. For a few items, I ended up causing more trouble for myself than I had to. For instance, the table numbers, reserved seating signs and the bridal suite sign were printed on plain white paper that was cut and then mounted onto cardstock. What would have saved me a lot of time would have been to print the signs directly onto cardstock. The invitations took way too much effort because it had so many parts, and so it had many steps just to complete one. There was no need for the invitations to be as complicated as I made them out to be.

My advice for other DIY brides is to keep things simple and don't sweat the small stuff. Do the practical stuff first and then the fluff stuff. When I say fluff stuff, that includes things that are usually present in weddings, but aren't necessary to make the wedding happen or make the wedding run smooth, like a veil or centerpieces. Make sure you have plenty of time to do your DIY projects and always have a backup plan in case the project fails. That means that if your veil came out funny and unusable, be prepared to buy one. If you find you've bitten off more than you can chew, find ways to scale back.

There are also lots of ways to save money without DIYing from scratch. Blank invitations and escort cards can be bought at stationery stores and printed out at home. Pretty table number templates can be downloaded and printed onto sturdy cardstock. Our table number stands were just cones of cardstock paper with a slit cut into the tip. The table number card was slipped into the slit and voila! The table number is standing up! Also take advantage of certain wedding websites or other event-planning websites if they offer RSVP functionality. Make sure the RSVP functionality fits your needs. The great thing about online RSVPing is that if someone forgot to RSVP, you can IM, text or email them and they can take care of it right away, rather than waiting for snail mail to come through. You'll also save on paper and postage. You should also take advantage of what the venue has to offer you. I didn't realize that I didn't need to bring a card box. They had a beautifully decorated mailbox and wheelbarrow setup for cards and gifts. The venue also provided the ceremony wine, a beautiful tea service set and tray for the tea ceremony, the cake cutting and serving utensils, champagne glasses for the toasts and votives for the tables. It's nice that we choose a venue that did the baking, catering and hosting. It was nice because they did a good job. It would have been horrible if they did a bad job. So choose your vendors wisely.

My last bit of advice for future brides is this: don't let the best be the enemy of good enough. Probably not an exact quote, but it says what I mean. Searching for "the best" causes immense amounts of stress because "better" things are always on the horizon. Remember why you're having a wedding when you feel sucked in by the wedding industrial complex. You're having a wedding because you want your friends and family to witness you getting married, and because afterwards you want to party with them to celebrate! At its heart, that's all a wedding is. If you keep this in mind, that desperation you may have been feeling trying to order the "perfect" shade of rose petals to line your aisle may start to melt away, the grief you may have been feeling when you realized the veil is not EXACTLY the way you imagined it may lift, and the frustration you may have been experiencing when things aren't going according to your plan may begin to smooth over.

Granted, I had it very easy during the planning process in some regards. I am not one of those brides that dreamed of getting married since girlhood, so I was not pursuing efforts to make my fantasy a reality. My family and friends are well aware of my record for being headstrong, stubborn and opinionated and refrained from trying to control any aspects of the wedding. My hubby's family stayed out of the planning completely as they are a very carefree, hands-off kind of family. Neither of us had a large guest list, so not much arguing there, and we had plenty of moral support whenever drama did occur.

We also did a lot of things that made the process much easier for us. We choose to limit our wedding party to just us, 2 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids. The less people we have to organize, the easier on us. We didn't choose their outfits. We gave them guidelines like, wear a dark suit or navy blue dress and accessorize as you like. That way, no time was spent shopping and the bridal party can take care of themselves. We also limited the number of vendors we had to deal with. That also meant we had to choose our vendors carefully. I spent more time weeding out vendors that didn't meet my basic criteria before arranging to meet them. That meant we only had to meet a handful of vendors before choosing the one we liked best out of the bunch. I also spent lots of time researching reviews for these vendors. Keep in mind that many wedding websites will take down bad reviews at the vendor's request without notifying the reviewer, so make sure your research is as extensive as possible. If there is little reviewer information on a vendor, make sure you get a good amount of time with the vendor in person to get a feel of their personality, style and professionalism. Be clear about what you want and see if they can deliver evidence of being able to handle such requests. We also kept from making too many specific requests. We really wanted to just give the vendors an idea of what we'd like to achieve and then let them use their best judgment. Lastly, the thing that really made my wedding planning process smooth was keeping to a well-thought out schedule and keeping to a strict budget. Basically, staying organized and keeping the number of parts involved to a minimum. Fewer moving cogs means less things to track and less opportunities for the machine to break down. The tradeoff is that if one of your few cogs does break down, the machine is more likely to roll to a halt because it's mostly likely a pretty critical cog.

If my planning timeline had been less thought-out or less organized, I would not have had as much free time during the last month before the wedding. That is not to say I wasn't busy, but nothing took on an air of frantic desperation. I firmly believe that proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance. However, some things that go wrong are beyond your control. If that happens, roll with it and move on. Don't let anything spoil your day because nobody and nothing should be given that much power over your wedding experience!

Whew! I survived wedding planning!

Yes folks, I was able to fly over the hump and get married! I know, it's been over a month since my last post, but the last few weeks leading up to the wedding was busy. Not hectic, but busy - both at work and at home. Thus, I had little time or energy to blog. After the wedding, we went off to our honeymoon and spent 2 weeks on a nice, beautiful beach! Whoo hoo! Boy did I need that vacation!

Anyways, to recap some of the events leading up to the wedding, I had my bachelorette party the Friday night before the wedding, completed the Ketubah, ironed my white dress, finished sewing my last dress, printed out escort cards, sewed the garter, and left explicit instructions with instructional photos and the day-of timeline with our vendors. I thought I might come off as a little control-freakish and paranoid when I handed the photos and instructions to the vendor, along with a very detailed timeline, but the vendors all looked at them and said, "This is perfect!" My hubby got the impression that most vendors tend to play more guessing games with other brides, or sometimes brides didn't put as much thought into their timelines and/or instructions. I did a lot of research, paid attention to details and allowed the vendors to use their best judgment as well. My attitude towards the vendors was for them to tell me what they need from me in terms of general direction and for me to let them do their jobs and show off their skills.

Most of my wedding stuff was pretty straight-forward, standard wedding stuff. That minimized any confusion that the vendors might have with anything weird. Special instructions that had to be done included putting a rose on a reserved chair in the front row for my hubby's father, who passed away a few years ago, memorial pillar "candles" for his father, his grandmother and my grandfather, and placing our raccoon, Rocky, around our guest sign-in tree to look like he's signing the tree. I also wanted the baker to put butterflies that I had hand-wired into the cake, but apparently the baker forgot. Not having the butterflies was a disappointment, but overall, the day went great! I must hand it to the Maitre'D for keeping me on schedule and making sure that my hubby and I were properly fed. He and the waitstaff kept bringing us food, which was really helpful! I think we would have eaten much less if they hadn't done that. So thanks to them, we actually got to eat at our own wedding!

Basically, the day went like this:

Spent the night before in my parents' house, as per Chinese tradition, and woke up early to get my hair and makeup done. As I was getting made up, my hubby made the traditional journey to my parents' house to pick up his bride. We didn't do the bride price thing or the games, so when I was all made up, he and I left for the venue around 9am. We arrive at the venue at around 10:40AM, which was ahead of schedule.

I go to change into my white dress and when the photographer and his assistant arrived, we did an hour of formal photos with just me and my hubby. Once the bridal party and family arrived and we did an hour of formal photos with them. Then I changed into my purple dress and we signed the ketubah and marriage license, and headed outside for the tea ceremony.

My mother brought her own tea and pillows for me and my hubby to kneel on, and the venue provided the china and the setup. One of my bridesmaids handed us the tea to serve to our parents, who would take a sip and then give us a red envelope. Once the tea ceremony was done, I headed back to change back into the white dress for the marriage ceremony.

Once I was properly gussied up, I headed down to where we were lining up. The Maitre'D was waiting and was directing everything, which made everything so smooth and easy! The processional was led by my hubby's mom and stepdad, who looked so sweet as they walked down the aisle. Both my mom and my dad escorted me and it was really awesome to see my guests clapping to my entrance music, which was Love Me Do by the Beatles. The ceremony ran a bit longer than I'd like, but that's partially my fault as I okayed it with the Rabbi and with my hubby. My feet were killing me in last few minutes! The shoes I wore are actually very comfortable, but apparently, not so fun to stand still in for 30 minutes. There were a couple of memorable moments that stood out for me. One was when I sipped from the Kiddish cup, I said, "Mmmm, that's good!" So when the rabbi heard that, she said, "Yeah? Okay, then have another sip!" So both my hubby and I had a second sip. Lol! Another memorable moment was when hubby's mom was doing her reading, she teared up and almost made me tear up too! I also had to fake some of the hebrew parts because I didn't know/memorize the words and the Rabbi commented how on well I faked it. Hahaha! Once we were pronounced man and wife, we left the ceremony to do a few more family photos and then on to cocktail hour! On the way to the bar area, I dropped off my bouquet and picked up the toss bouquet.

So that's when the real mingling began. At the end of cocktail hour, we did the bouquet and garter toss. Hubby wanted to use his teeth to take off my garter and the MC asked about hubby using his teeth, but I loudly proclaimed this was a PG show and there will be no teeth! Lol! Hubby's sister caught the bouquet and one of his groomsmen caught the garter. The whole affair was entertaining, but not out of the ordinary.

Once everyone was being directed into the reception area, I changed into my red qipao. Hubby was waiting outside the reception entrance and when I arrived, we were introduced and did our first dance. Others were invited to dance once we had a few moments on the dance floor to ourselves and I honestly thought this was going to be a pretty shy crowd, but people really did get up and dance! It was great! I don't remember the exact sequence after that, but I do remember the Maitre'D and wait staff making sure we got food to eat and time to eat. I remember the parent dances, which was done to Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof, and I remember lots of hugs and dancing! After the cake cutting, I changed into my last dress, which I sewed myself. That's about the time when everyone started to say their goodbyes, which was fine with me and my hubby because we had been up since at least 5AM that day!

Once we had everything packed up, we walked to the building over, where we had a complimentary night in one of their rooms. Yes, the venue we picked also had a hotel on their grounds, which made them a very full-service venue! We spent that evening reading cards, opening gifts, cleaning up, decompressing and then sleeping. All in all, it was a good day!

Obtaining the wedding license

I think most people would agree that in the city, dealing with government offices can be an unpleasant experience. The lines are long, the wait is long and people are unabashedly cranky. Sometimes you get the feeling that the city worker is so miserable that they are nasty to you to make you miserable too. I always try to be pleasant, but sometimes that just seems to make them more nasty.

So I was surprised to see that going to the Marriage Bureau in the City Clerk's office was actually a pretty pleasant experience! We wanted to get there early to avoid any lines, so we arrived about 10 minutes before the office opened. There were already about 3 or 4 couples waiting in front of us. As we waited in line, more couples arrived and some arrived with a few family members. Once we were let in, a huge hallway opened up in front of us, with big, bright windows on the right and large, towering columns on the left. We were asked to have our IDs out, which were checked as we came in. The man at the desk asked us what we were here for and then directed us to the back with a number. We sat on a couch as we waited for our number to be called. We didn't wait very long and the lady at the window that handled our case was very nice and sweet. She greeted us with a happy "good morning" and sent us off with a cheery "congratulations." Certainly not the experience I would get at the DMV! The actual process was very fast, aided by the fact that we had already started the application online. So basically all we had to do was give the lady our SSNs, confirm the information they have is correct, sign a form, pay the fee and voila! A marriage license was printed out for us to take home! So from arrival to departure, the whole thing took about 30 minutes.

Some of the things we saw there was really cool, fun and amusing. There is a Chapel Clerk there that can marry you that day if you wanted. The city store had fresh flowers already bundled into little wedding bouquets and boutonnieres. They also had folders, cases and frames for your marriage certificate if you were marrying that day, as well as silver and gold wedding rings, and even fake diamond ones! I thought about buying the flowers because I kind of wanted to mark the occasion with something pretty, but we ended up buying a bride and groom set of rubber duckies that we will use on our wedding cake. It's silly, I know, but they are really cute! The marriage bureau is definitely a business, with everything you need for a makeshift wedding. Lol! They even have this little photo nook that has a backdrop of city hall! Hahaha!

So I have to say that it was actually kind of fun! Of course, we went really early so I can't attest to a good experience later in the day. Still, I'm sure it is a better experience, even when it's busier, than trying to obtain a passport or driver's license. :-)