It is unfortunate that I have to go away after only just starting on my weight loss journey, but I'm still feeling very motivated to continue my plan when I go away. I'm not sure about the calorie restriction part, but I definitely plan to keep moving!
As optimistic as I am about losing the pounds in the long run, I am a bit stressed about how I'm going to look on the beach during my vacation. I tried on my bathing suits a few days ago and I look like a giant, blubbery whale! I can only hope that I can have fun on my vacation without worrying too much about my diet and my appearance. Insecurities can certainly rain on this parade, but I don't know how I can control a lifelong mental habit of stressing over my body image. Of course, we won't know how it will go until I get there. I suppose there really is no point worrying about it now.
Right now, I should be focusing on sticking with my current goals and prepping for a do-nothing vacation!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
2 days before vacay!
I have only a couple of days to get done with all of our chores before heading out to vacation. There is a near-impossible list of items that need to be done, but I think I'm going to attempt it anyways, seeing as how I don't think I'll be getting much help.
In other news, this morning, I decided to wear the skirt I made for my intermediate sewing class. It definitely fits me better than most of the skirts I've bought. I mean, at least it fits my new fatter body. Lol! As much as I like how the fabric looks, I didn't like working with it. Still, I'm excited enough about my new skirt that I wouldn't mind trying to make a few more just for practice!
Other than what's outlined above, there's not much else goin' on.
In other news, this morning, I decided to wear the skirt I made for my intermediate sewing class. It definitely fits me better than most of the skirts I've bought. I mean, at least it fits my new fatter body. Lol! As much as I like how the fabric looks, I didn't like working with it. Still, I'm excited enough about my new skirt that I wouldn't mind trying to make a few more just for practice!
Other than what's outlined above, there's not much else goin' on.
Monday, May 18, 2009
RK Bridal
I got out of work early last Friday and went off to try on dresses at RK Bridal. So glad I went on a weekday instead of Saturday! I hear weekends are horrible there! Anyways, the woman who helped me was VERY sour and RUDE at first. Not bothering to look at me or shake hands or even properly introduce herself, she just said her name and started walking away. I hesitated to follow her until she said, "Come here!" and pointed to a dressing room. I had to help her bring the dresses I picked out into the dressing room and without even looking at me, asked me what I was looking for. Meanwhile, I felt like a total ass for even bothering to smile at her when she is constantly turning her back to me. I told her that I didn't want to look two feet tall and I had no boobs and... she cuts me off and walks off saying she'll be back with some dresses.
Thoroughly pissed now, I sat in the room fuming. She comes back with two dresses added to the four I picked out. There is a 7 dress limit at RK Bridal. She helps me into the first one, which is one she had picked out and let me say the first words out of my mouth was, "Wow! You picked a BEAUTIFUL dress! I have a WAIST!!!" and that was the first smile I saw from her.
After that, she must have felt more at ease around me and things went MUCH more pleasantly. At the end, I tried on more than 7 dresses and we picked out 4 that I really liked on. I was VERY happy to hear that all the dresses we picked are at or below the $1200 mark.
See the dresses below:
Casablanca 1914
Casablanca 1872
Private Label PL5
Private Label 1350
Thoroughly pissed now, I sat in the room fuming. She comes back with two dresses added to the four I picked out. There is a 7 dress limit at RK Bridal. She helps me into the first one, which is one she had picked out and let me say the first words out of my mouth was, "Wow! You picked a BEAUTIFUL dress! I have a WAIST!!!" and that was the first smile I saw from her.
After that, she must have felt more at ease around me and things went MUCH more pleasantly. At the end, I tried on more than 7 dresses and we picked out 4 that I really liked on. I was VERY happy to hear that all the dresses we picked are at or below the $1200 mark.
See the dresses below:
Casablanca 1914
Casablanca 1872
Private Label PL5
Private Label 1350
Boo!
So, I just got engaged! And am going on vacation in a couple of days. Both stressful events because now I have a wedding to plan and have to worry about my whale of a body traumatizing some poor soul wandering the beach. My size is also an issue in finding a dress that doesn't make me look like I have no boobs and no waist!
So seeing as how my weight and body image are heading the list of things on my mind, I decided to tackle it in earnest this time. I joined a free online exercise and diet program that tracks your food intake and exercise routine. It's probably not the best time to start this since I'm going away in a few days and the habit can't form if it's interrupted in the middle. However, I can't bear to wait so we'll see how it goes during the vacation and when I get back.
So far, I've been pretty faithful at tracking, if not keeping to the calorie restriction. I calculated that for my current size and lifestyle, I need about 1445 calories to maintain my current weight. I need to eat 500 less calories in order to lose a pound a week. However, when I try keep to 1100 calories a day, it's torturous! I'm hungry for most of the day, and have to constantly remind myself that almost anything I eat will put me over that limit.
Part of the solution to the above problem is to eat some more calories, but to also exercise. Now that the weather is warmer, I can actually be more active. Walking around the city was a major part of my activity last year and I find myself doing it more now as well.
So the plan is to continue to be good about my diet and exercise plan. During my vacation, I will still try to be conscious of what I eat, but probably won't be tracking it. I mean, I'll be eating smaller portions than I usually eat and also plan to walk along the beach a lot to get in some exercise. I want to relax while on vacation, but I don't want to lose focus either.
Once I get back, I can return to my current routine. Wish me luck!
So seeing as how my weight and body image are heading the list of things on my mind, I decided to tackle it in earnest this time. I joined a free online exercise and diet program that tracks your food intake and exercise routine. It's probably not the best time to start this since I'm going away in a few days and the habit can't form if it's interrupted in the middle. However, I can't bear to wait so we'll see how it goes during the vacation and when I get back.
So far, I've been pretty faithful at tracking, if not keeping to the calorie restriction. I calculated that for my current size and lifestyle, I need about 1445 calories to maintain my current weight. I need to eat 500 less calories in order to lose a pound a week. However, when I try keep to 1100 calories a day, it's torturous! I'm hungry for most of the day, and have to constantly remind myself that almost anything I eat will put me over that limit.
Part of the solution to the above problem is to eat some more calories, but to also exercise. Now that the weather is warmer, I can actually be more active. Walking around the city was a major part of my activity last year and I find myself doing it more now as well.
So the plan is to continue to be good about my diet and exercise plan. During my vacation, I will still try to be conscious of what I eat, but probably won't be tracking it. I mean, I'll be eating smaller portions than I usually eat and also plan to walk along the beach a lot to get in some exercise. I want to relax while on vacation, but I don't want to lose focus either.
Once I get back, I can return to my current routine. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Macaroni Meal
My mom makes this dish and growing up, it was one of my absolute favorites!
Serves 2
1/3 box of elbow pasta (macaroni)
1 box of frozen peas and carrots, defrosted
2 potatoes
1 or 2 scallions
salt
water
Start boiling water in a pot for the elbow pasta. Meanwhile, wash the potatoes and scallions. Peel and cube the potatoes and chop the scallions. In a heated and well-oiled wok or pan, throw in potatoes and add some water. Cook covered for a few minutes, stirring occasionally. Add peas and carrots and mix it together. Add more water if necessary and cook covered for a few more minutes, stirring occasionally. Once the pasta is cooked, drain it and add it to the wok or pan and stir fry everything together. If the mix is dry or the potatoes are hard, add some water and cook covered for a few minutes longer. Add salt to taste and once everything is cooked through, it's time to serve and eat!
Tips/ Variations:
- Bits of ground pork can be added if you eat meat
- Minced garlic are also a wonderful addition
Serves 2
1/3 box of elbow pasta (macaroni)
1 box of frozen peas and carrots, defrosted
2 potatoes
1 or 2 scallions
salt
water
Start boiling water in a pot for the elbow pasta. Meanwhile, wash the potatoes and scallions. Peel and cube the potatoes and chop the scallions. In a heated and well-oiled wok or pan, throw in potatoes and add some water. Cook covered for a few minutes, stirring occasionally. Add peas and carrots and mix it together. Add more water if necessary and cook covered for a few more minutes, stirring occasionally. Once the pasta is cooked, drain it and add it to the wok or pan and stir fry everything together. If the mix is dry or the potatoes are hard, add some water and cook covered for a few minutes longer. Add salt to taste and once everything is cooked through, it's time to serve and eat!
Tips/ Variations:
- Bits of ground pork can be added if you eat meat
- Minced garlic are also a wonderful addition
My favorite eggplant dish!
You have to use chinese eggplants for this, also known as japanese eggplants or more politically correct, asian eggplants. I prefer asian eggplants in general because it contains less seeds. This is supposed to be made with a small amount of ground beef, but since I'm vegetarian now, I leave it out. Anyways, the recipe is below:
Serves 2
Ingredients:
3 asian eggplants
1 scallion, chopped
Soy sauce
Sesame oil
2 cloves garlic
These eggplants are cut in a particular way. You are going to make approximately 2 to 3 inch sections. Place the eggplant on the cutting board in front of you and at the part where you are going to cut your piece, hold your knife at a 45 degree angle away from you and slice down. Turn the eggplant a quarter turn and cut another piece at an angle. So you are slicing straight down each time, but turning the knife at an angle away from your body. Repeat until all the eggplants are cut up this way.
Heat up the oil in the pan or wok and toss in the garlic, followed by the scallions, then the eggplants. Eggplants soak up a lot of oil when cooking so make sure you use enough. They will eventually "spit" the oil back out when they're just about done. Add the soy sauce to taste and toss the mix until the eggplants are soft and mushy.
Tips/ Variations:
- Add some bits of ground beef
- Make sure the wok or pan is not too hot when tossing in the garlic and scallions or they'll burn
- This is a rather oily dish, heavy on flavor because it was meant to be eaten with plain rice.
Serves 2
Ingredients:
3 asian eggplants
1 scallion, chopped
Soy sauce
Sesame oil
2 cloves garlic
These eggplants are cut in a particular way. You are going to make approximately 2 to 3 inch sections. Place the eggplant on the cutting board in front of you and at the part where you are going to cut your piece, hold your knife at a 45 degree angle away from you and slice down. Turn the eggplant a quarter turn and cut another piece at an angle. So you are slicing straight down each time, but turning the knife at an angle away from your body. Repeat until all the eggplants are cut up this way.
Heat up the oil in the pan or wok and toss in the garlic, followed by the scallions, then the eggplants. Eggplants soak up a lot of oil when cooking so make sure you use enough. They will eventually "spit" the oil back out when they're just about done. Add the soy sauce to taste and toss the mix until the eggplants are soft and mushy.
Tips/ Variations:
- Add some bits of ground beef
- Make sure the wok or pan is not too hot when tossing in the garlic and scallions or they'll burn
- This is a rather oily dish, heavy on flavor because it was meant to be eaten with plain rice.
Fried rice
Fried rice is how we, Chinese, like to deal with leftovers. Whatever leftover dishes is tossed in with whatever leftover rice and cooked with some scrambled eggs and scallions. For added flavor, you can add some soy sauce to the mix, which will darken the rice. Personally, I like making fried rice without using leftovers because the flavoring of leftovers interferes with my penchant for eating it with lots of ketchup! Here is my favorite fried rice recipe:
Serves 2
Ingredients:
2 cups rice
2 to 3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup of milk
1 to 2 scallions, chopped
1 to 2 roma tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup ham/veggie ham, chopped
salt
water
cooking oil (I use olive oil)
Combine the eggs with the scallions and milk. Scramble the eggs in a heated and well-oiled pan or wok. Throw in the rest of the ingredients. If using leftover rice, the mixture may be too dry, in which case you should add some water. Mix everything up well and if the tomatoes and rice still seems rather hard, add a little bit of water and cook covered for a few minutes. Salt to taste and mix everything up a little bit more before serving.
Tips/ Variations:
- I love ketchup with my fried rice, but I usually add it to my bowl after I've scooped out my portion. You can add ketchup while cooking, but it means everyone else has to like it too!
- You can add little bit of sesame oil if you like that in your fried rice.
- As I mentioned before, you can use soy sauce instead of salt for your fried rice, but I don't like adding ketchup after if it's been prepared that way.
Serves 2
Ingredients:
2 cups rice
2 to 3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup of milk
1 to 2 scallions, chopped
1 to 2 roma tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup ham/veggie ham, chopped
salt
water
cooking oil (I use olive oil)
Combine the eggs with the scallions and milk. Scramble the eggs in a heated and well-oiled pan or wok. Throw in the rest of the ingredients. If using leftover rice, the mixture may be too dry, in which case you should add some water. Mix everything up well and if the tomatoes and rice still seems rather hard, add a little bit of water and cook covered for a few minutes. Salt to taste and mix everything up a little bit more before serving.
Tips/ Variations:
- I love ketchup with my fried rice, but I usually add it to my bowl after I've scooped out my portion. You can add ketchup while cooking, but it means everyone else has to like it too!
- You can add little bit of sesame oil if you like that in your fried rice.
- As I mentioned before, you can use soy sauce instead of salt for your fried rice, but I don't like adding ketchup after if it's been prepared that way.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Ginger ale/ ginger beer
This first recipe is the one I used in my first successful attempt at making ginger ale, or ginger beer.
¾ tbsp grated ginger
Juice and Zest of one lemon
½ cup sugar
Tap water
1/8 tsp. yeast
Combine the first three ingredients and shake to dissolve the sugar. Fill the bottle with water, leaving 2 inches of space at the top. Place in a warm place for 24 to 48 hours until bottle feels really hard when you try to squeeze it. Place in fridge to chill and serve!
Subsequent attempts have led me to something that looks more like the one below. I like strong flavors in my food and drinks.
1 to 2 tbsp grated ginger
Juice and Zest of 2 lemons
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey
Tap water
1/8 tsp. of rapid rise yeast
Combine the first four ingredients with some tap water that has been warmed and mix well. Add the yeast and pour the mix through a funnel into a 2-liter soda bottle. Fill with cold tap water, leaving about 2 inches of space at the top. Cap the bottle and shake until sugar is dissolved. Place in a warm place for about 24 to 48 hours, or until bottle is really, really hard. Place in fridge to chill and stop fermentation. Once the drink is chilled, serve and enjoy!
Tips:
- Warm tap water helps to dissolve the sugar, honey and yeast, which is why I like to make a warm mixture first. It cuts down on the amount of shaking time required to dissolve the stuff once it's in the bottle.
- I've round that rapid rise yeast works faster than regular yeast and being impatient, I prefer to use something that works faster.
- Opened packages of yeast does not last. Either refrigerate or freeze the leftover yeast to keep it alive longer. I believe the refrigerator will allow the leftover yeast to last between a week to a month and freezing the yeast will allow it to last up to 6 months.
- To see if your yeast is still active, put some in a cup of warm water and some sugar and see if it foams and expands in 5 to 10 minutes.
¾ tbsp grated ginger
Juice and Zest of one lemon
½ cup sugar
Tap water
1/8 tsp. yeast
Combine the first three ingredients and shake to dissolve the sugar. Fill the bottle with water, leaving 2 inches of space at the top. Place in a warm place for 24 to 48 hours until bottle feels really hard when you try to squeeze it. Place in fridge to chill and serve!
Subsequent attempts have led me to something that looks more like the one below. I like strong flavors in my food and drinks.
1 to 2 tbsp grated ginger
Juice and Zest of 2 lemons
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey
Tap water
1/8 tsp. of rapid rise yeast
Combine the first four ingredients with some tap water that has been warmed and mix well. Add the yeast and pour the mix through a funnel into a 2-liter soda bottle. Fill with cold tap water, leaving about 2 inches of space at the top. Cap the bottle and shake until sugar is dissolved. Place in a warm place for about 24 to 48 hours, or until bottle is really, really hard. Place in fridge to chill and stop fermentation. Once the drink is chilled, serve and enjoy!
Tips:
- Warm tap water helps to dissolve the sugar, honey and yeast, which is why I like to make a warm mixture first. It cuts down on the amount of shaking time required to dissolve the stuff once it's in the bottle.
- I've round that rapid rise yeast works faster than regular yeast and being impatient, I prefer to use something that works faster.
- Opened packages of yeast does not last. Either refrigerate or freeze the leftover yeast to keep it alive longer. I believe the refrigerator will allow the leftover yeast to last between a week to a month and freezing the yeast will allow it to last up to 6 months.
- To see if your yeast is still active, put some in a cup of warm water and some sugar and see if it foams and expands in 5 to 10 minutes.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Scratching the patch
I have a skin condition called eczema. I’ve had it all my life and in some ways, it seems like my struggles to either soothe, alleviate or placate it is the one continuous, faint side-story of my life. On good days, I may actually be mostly eczema free or at the very least, my patches are not bothering me. On bad days, I’ll have swollen, weeping wounds all over that are STILL begging me to scratch! On those days, which usually lasts anywhere from a month to years, I have resorted to sitting on my hands, burning my patches with hot water and slathering on mentholated lotion – all to keep me from scratching. The torture of not scratching can, at times, feel excruciating as the itch keeps itching right under the horrible bleeding and throbbing pain. When I do give in and scratch, the sensation of scratching that taunting itch feels oh-so exquisite. Sometimes it feels like I’d scratch right to the bone if I weren’t careful.
Funny that it should feel sooooo good to scratch the patch when the only thing that really helps in the end, is to not scratch. It’s the only thing that keeps it from getting worse. I remember in fifth grade, my right wrist had been swollen and weeping fluid for years from all the scratching. I just couldn’t stop! One day, while being bored in class, I thought of a story my father had told me. He said that some of the greatest heroes in China’s were able to take lots of pain by divorcing their mind from their body. It’s the same idea that’s sometimes employed during meditation. I was taught that when you feel the urge to move due to pain, itch or discomfort, first just observe it, as a stranger observes a street scene out of curiosity. You want to see where it would go or how it will develop. If you really have to move because the pain is just that unbearable, then do so, but the point is not to indulge. So that’s what I tried on my eczema.
There were moments when I sat on my hands to keep from scratching, but mainly, I just focused on the itch and really tried to feel what it felt like to be itchy. At times, it feels like there’s movement where the itch is. I realized that the itch doesn’t feel like it’s on the skin at all, but inside and when the patch is swollen, it itches right through the throbs or in time with the throbs. It itches while I’m writing, practicing piano, reading or playing. All the while, I practiced being aware of it without indulging it. Eventually, I stopped scratching in my sleep and the patches were able to heal. I was not bothered by eczema for years. That isn’t to say it didn’t come back. It surely did, but I didn’t scratch, allowing it to pass through on its own time.
However, eczema barged its way back into the limelight several years back. I was undergoing major depression and health problems. I lost my way and started scratching madly again! Scratch, scratch, scratching that horrible, itching patch! The more I scratched, the more it itched and the more patches I had. I had patches everywhere, but nowhere more prominent than on my hands, which were swollen and red all the time. I couldn’t bend my wrist or fingers very well and yet, I had to work with my hands every day. I tried wearing cotton gloves but I would scratch right through them – even in my sleep! It was horrible!
Eventually, I pulled myself together and climbed out of depression, which in turn, improved my health. I got a new job, new friends, new life… and I stopped scratching so incessantly. I also learned a new technique in dealing with eczema. In addition to watching the itch without scratching, I can help it heal faster if I apply a good, soothing lotion on it and then cover it with some breathable fabric. Opaque tights under my pants work well for my legs, undershirts for my top and cotton gloves for my hands. The idea is to help keep the skin moisturized as well as keeping the sensitized skin from rubbing anything. When I finally got to see a doctor about it (I couldn’t afford to before), he said the lotion and covering combination was the best thing for soothing eczema.
Now that the weather has gotten colder and the heater has been turned on, the air is getting drier. I noticed my eczema has already returned on my fingers and hands. Even so, I’ve a good feeling that my eczema problem is going to fade back out of focus for a while.
Funny that it should feel sooooo good to scratch the patch when the only thing that really helps in the end, is to not scratch. It’s the only thing that keeps it from getting worse. I remember in fifth grade, my right wrist had been swollen and weeping fluid for years from all the scratching. I just couldn’t stop! One day, while being bored in class, I thought of a story my father had told me. He said that some of the greatest heroes in China’s were able to take lots of pain by divorcing their mind from their body. It’s the same idea that’s sometimes employed during meditation. I was taught that when you feel the urge to move due to pain, itch or discomfort, first just observe it, as a stranger observes a street scene out of curiosity. You want to see where it would go or how it will develop. If you really have to move because the pain is just that unbearable, then do so, but the point is not to indulge. So that’s what I tried on my eczema.
There were moments when I sat on my hands to keep from scratching, but mainly, I just focused on the itch and really tried to feel what it felt like to be itchy. At times, it feels like there’s movement where the itch is. I realized that the itch doesn’t feel like it’s on the skin at all, but inside and when the patch is swollen, it itches right through the throbs or in time with the throbs. It itches while I’m writing, practicing piano, reading or playing. All the while, I practiced being aware of it without indulging it. Eventually, I stopped scratching in my sleep and the patches were able to heal. I was not bothered by eczema for years. That isn’t to say it didn’t come back. It surely did, but I didn’t scratch, allowing it to pass through on its own time.
However, eczema barged its way back into the limelight several years back. I was undergoing major depression and health problems. I lost my way and started scratching madly again! Scratch, scratch, scratching that horrible, itching patch! The more I scratched, the more it itched and the more patches I had. I had patches everywhere, but nowhere more prominent than on my hands, which were swollen and red all the time. I couldn’t bend my wrist or fingers very well and yet, I had to work with my hands every day. I tried wearing cotton gloves but I would scratch right through them – even in my sleep! It was horrible!
Eventually, I pulled myself together and climbed out of depression, which in turn, improved my health. I got a new job, new friends, new life… and I stopped scratching so incessantly. I also learned a new technique in dealing with eczema. In addition to watching the itch without scratching, I can help it heal faster if I apply a good, soothing lotion on it and then cover it with some breathable fabric. Opaque tights under my pants work well for my legs, undershirts for my top and cotton gloves for my hands. The idea is to help keep the skin moisturized as well as keeping the sensitized skin from rubbing anything. When I finally got to see a doctor about it (I couldn’t afford to before), he said the lotion and covering combination was the best thing for soothing eczema.
Now that the weather has gotten colder and the heater has been turned on, the air is getting drier. I noticed my eczema has already returned on my fingers and hands. Even so, I’ve a good feeling that my eczema problem is going to fade back out of focus for a while.
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